It took me some time to accept my pregnancy. I wasn’t prepared for the changes to come, and deep inside I didn’t want anything to change. I had no other choice but to give in. Fast. Nature gives me only nine months to prepare for everything that’s about to come. From the beginning, I knew that it was going to be hard. But now at the 38th week of my pregnancy, I am surprised about how much positive things I have learned about myself and my body. What I didn’t expect was how much this change would open up my eyes to other aspects of life.
All the time I was neglecting my pregnancy I was assuming that only the worst things were going to happen. It took me some mind training and a lot of conversations to realize that it can go well as well. Getting pregnant unexpected can be fulfilling, enlightening and empowering too. It may be the hormones, but I am almost sure it was my mindset. The mind has the ability to make us go crazy but it also has the ability to make us feel better. It’s not easy, but I have learned that it’s better to let the negative thoughts go and to adopt a positive attitude. And more important: to live in the present. This has made me a better person, hopefully 🙂
I still have a lot to learn, but I thought it may be nice to share the things that pregnancy has taught me about life.
1. Inhale, exhale. Everything is OK. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
The hardest part of my unplanned pregnancy was the strong grip of fear, doubt, and resistance for what was happening. Slowly, I have been learning to be more aware what is really going on, and that self-doubt clouds my judgment, suffocating me. Even the worst situations can turn into a better one by changing the perspective. Our minds are used to think the worst of everything instead of the best. We are pessimistic by default. Now I am finally aware of this, I find it easier to change the perspective of situations. I start to embrace my pregnancy.
2. Learn to listen to my body.
During my pregnancy, it was the first time I paid attention to my body’s needs. I used to work over-hours and skip lunches or any other meals. I never slept long and if I did, I felt guilty about it. Now I learned to listen to my body. I take the time to rest and eat and I stop when I am tired. The physical changes play a very important role here. The bigger I was growing, the less I could do. But the less I cared about that. I learned to care less when I didn’t make it to answer emails or to clean the kitchen.
3. Say no without feeling guilty.
I used to be one of those girls who says yes while my head is telling me no. I found it very hard to say no to a boss, to neglect an event I didn’t want to attend or to refuse a phone call… Now I don’t have the energy to spill it, so I have learned to choose well what I really want to do and kindly refuse what I don’t want to do. These choices led me to a happier life. I know I am not the only one here. We are not used to protecting ourselves and set boundaries.
4. Do nothing and enjoy it.
We live in a world where we always need to be doing something productive. When we meet family and friends we only discuss how well we are doing our work and how it goes financially. For me, it was very hard to go back to be a ‘kid’ and lay down on the sofa for half a day and listen to music. Or even take a nap. I was a victim of this generations motto and blamed myself for wasting my time while not being productive. Now I feel good and take more time to rest during the day. Paradoxically this gives me more energy to continue doing my things with a more positive attitude.
5. Let go of control.
This has been the biggest lesson I have learned during the pregnancy. It also has a lot to do with physical changes. I used to plan my to-do list every morning and be very strict with it. Even if it was late in the day, I had to finish the list. Since the pregnancy, I can never predict how I’m going to feel. I might wake up feeling good and energetic, but suddenly get heavy heart palpitations which tell me that I have to stop everything and lay down. That makes all my plans go away for the rest of the day. Well, tomorrow is another day. This mantra helped me to get through the first times that I had to stop what I was doing and just rest. These situations have taught me that I don’t have to control every little thing. This is a lesson I’m continuing to learn and re-learn.
I know I’m going to learn even more lessons once the baby comes. For now, I’m grateful for what I’ve learned already, and I can’t wait to see what comes next.